Little Mickey: Mr. Crooner, Is Christmas about Santa or is it about the Baby Jesus?
Mr. Crooner: Mickey, a lot of kids your age ask this question…
Little Mickey: Really Mr. Crooner!
Mr. Crooner: Yes, they do, Timmy…
Little Mickey: Mickey!
Mr. Crooner: …Right…
♪♫
Many have asked the question,
What is this Christmas for?
Should we leave cookies for Santa,
Go to church, or head for the store?
Little Mickey: Different grown ups tell me different things!
Mr. Crooner: They sure do, Tommy…
♪♫
If only someone could lead us,
Guide us and show us the way,
Protect us from folly,
And help us be jolly,
Decide when to laugh, when to pray…
Little Mickey: Yeah!
Mr. Crooner: Well it turns out, Bobby, that we’ve always had people to show us the way, but it wasn’t until the late 70s that we understood who they were.
Little Mickey: Who are they?
Mr. Crooner: Well I’ll tell you, Teddy…
…
♪♫
Thought they were, three wisemen,
Coming from a far,
Thought they were, three wisemen,
Guided by a star,
Thought they were, three wisemen,
Kings of orient,
But hyperspace they travelled,
From orbit they descent,
Christmas is for Jedi,
Sabres burning bright,
Guarding Jesus’ manger,
Bathing it with light!
Who can Santa turn to,
When toys pass a war zone,
A phalanx of Light Sabers,
Will help him set the tone!
Christmas is for Jedi,
Guarding us from fear,
Bringing action figures,
Spreading Christmas cheer!
Who could make a nice list
For jolly old St. Nick,
He’ll just call a Jedi,
And ask for a mind trick!
Christmas is for Jedi,
Wisdoms hearty source,
Crushed the awesome Death Star,
Users of the Force!
Who shall be the heralds,
Of toys and also peace?
Jedi meditation,
Precedes their bomb release!
Oh! Christmas is for Jedi
Fill the malls with song,
O Jolly, you will be!
Yoda can’t be wrong!
Oh! Christmas is for Jedi,
Witness the Virgin Birth,
They’ve seen one already,
Before they came to earth! ♪♫
Mr. Crooner: And that is what Christmas is all about, Freddy.
Little Mickey: I’m more confused now than I was before.
Mr. Crooner: …Right…
(c) Mr. Crooner and Old Murphy, 2008
Mr. Crooner: Mickey, a lot of kids your age ask this question…
Little Mickey: Really Mr. Crooner!
Mr. Crooner: Yes, they do, Timmy…
Little Mickey: Mickey!
Mr. Crooner: …Right…
♪♫
Many have asked the question,
What is this Christmas for?
Should we leave cookies for Santa,
Go to church, or head for the store?
Little Mickey: Different grown ups tell me different things!
Mr. Crooner: They sure do, Tommy…
♪♫
If only someone could lead us,
Guide us and show us the way,
Protect us from folly,
And help us be jolly,
Decide when to laugh, when to pray…
Little Mickey: Yeah!
Mr. Crooner: Well it turns out, Bobby, that we’ve always had people to show us the way, but it wasn’t until the late 70s that we understood who they were.
Little Mickey: Who are they?
Mr. Crooner: Well I’ll tell you, Teddy…
…
♪♫
Thought they were, three wisemen,
Coming from a far,
Thought they were, three wisemen,
Guided by a star,
Thought they were, three wisemen,
Kings of orient,
But hyperspace they travelled,
From orbit they descent,
Christmas is for Jedi,
Sabres burning bright,
Guarding Jesus’ manger,
Bathing it with light!
Who can Santa turn to,
When toys pass a war zone,
A phalanx of Light Sabers,
Will help him set the tone!
Christmas is for Jedi,
Guarding us from fear,
Bringing action figures,
Spreading Christmas cheer!
Who could make a nice list
For jolly old St. Nick,
He’ll just call a Jedi,
And ask for a mind trick!
Christmas is for Jedi,
Wisdoms hearty source,
Crushed the awesome Death Star,
Users of the Force!
Who shall be the heralds,
Of toys and also peace?
Jedi meditation,
Precedes their bomb release!
Oh! Christmas is for Jedi
Fill the malls with song,
O Jolly, you will be!
Yoda can’t be wrong!
Oh! Christmas is for Jedi,
Witness the Virgin Birth,
They’ve seen one already,
Before they came to earth! ♪♫
Mr. Crooner: And that is what Christmas is all about, Freddy.
Little Mickey: I’m more confused now than I was before.
Mr. Crooner: …Right…
(c) Mr. Crooner and Old Murphy, 2008
2 comments:
Nicely done, sir.
You'd leave the future of Christmas in the hands of George Lucas... that guys even worse with dialog than whoever wrote Miracle on 34th Street...
And your linguistic construction is flawed: "Be wrong, Yoda cannot!" would be more appropriate.
But that's quibbling. My overall conclusion is you have too much free time and suppressed lounge singer ambitions.
Ho, ho, ho! (I feel a strange need to add what followed in Die Hard, because that was so seasonal for Xmas...)
:)
Signed,
Curmudgeon Q. Critic
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