The New President

Many people have asked me about my thoughts about the topic of the day: Barack Obama.

A lot of people assume that I am going to take issue with the spectrum of his politics. Something does irk me, but that is not it. Here is what I think of you, Barack Obama:

"Your mother was white. A Margaret Mead style globe traipsing spoiled dilettante. She was related to the Cheney's, the Bushes and the Trumans. My mom was a homemaker.

Your father was black, but the grandson of an African chief, NOT an African American. An accomplished government man. No descendant of a slave. There is no slavery in your history. My dad was a pipefitter.

Where am I going with this?

Nobody in your family was enslaved, impoverished, or ever had cause to expect anything short of a life of great possibility that generally exceeded the surrounding proletariat.

My ancestry is littered with people who fought and toiled to build a British Empire and in return the Empire gave us a plot of rocks in the Canadian Shield to farm.

What am I driving at?

You are a heralded graduate of Columbia, and Harvard Law. You were heralded practically before you arrived. You have been celebrated wherever you went for jobs that your friends and family procured, and positions where your accomplishments are relatively meagre.

I've never been a household name in my own household.

What do I mean? Just this:

I AM BLACKER THAN YOU, BARACK OBAMA!

You are a fraud. My family is filled with cast out black haired Irish. Your family soup bowl is clogged with silver spoons. You're whiter than Nathan Bedford Forrest's ghost.

You're a phony. You say you’re going to fight the man. You are the man!

You are a charlatan. You're life is as privileged as George W. Bush's. There is no difference between dad's friends getting you the Presidency or Oprah getting it for you. You are as mobbed up in the U.S. waspish community as W. You're just a Montague instead of a Capulet. Different network, same traffic: privilege.

To say that your skin tone innately conveys an experience of oppression and a history of indifference is simply racialist. More importantly, in your case it is also false.

In any event here is my throw down: Why don't you and I get a Karaoke machine and a James Brown CD and see just who is who and what is what. You are a blue blood Yankee Doodle phoney, Barry, and (Warning, double meaning ahead) you've been served.