OK... forgive me for not noticing this for almost a decade...
but what gives with the Cadillac Escalade Truck?
I mean WTF?
Sometimes certain aesthetics and certain functions cannot be combined in a complementary arrangement. I suggest that this is one of those times.
Trucks carry stuff. Like two-by-fours. That is what they do. They haul.
Escalades are for prestige, if you go in for North American style prestige.
You can't combine these things. You cannot haul prestigously. If the combination does not ruin the hauling, it certainly ruins the prestige.
Why don't you save your self the money and get your dick gold plated? "That's a very shiny crank you've got there, minster!"..."I know, but it's freakin useless now!"
I mean, what kind of two-by-fours are you carrying in the back? Did you take apart the true cross?
Shadow of Victory
8 years ago
4 comments:
Dude, did you miss the Hummer trucks? I can't think of anything that says small male equipment like combining a trash hauler with a stupidly expensive vehicle and the truck variants of all the hummers exemplify that.
Okay, you might mention the H3T, but c'mon, the box is too short and you can buy a real truck for 1/3 the price.
My Grandfather (my Dad's dad) said "It isn't a truck unless you can carry shit in it"
Most SUVs are just tall cars. In fact most use a car platform from that manufactures line up.
Of course the Suburban (and by 'the' I mean Dad's old 81 Silverado Suburban with the 350) can be said to have carried lots of shit in it's time... Like us to Picton a few times and once off roading on Wolfe Is.
I'm not taking issue with the covered or enclosed varients... they make sense. It's the open back ones.
I saw an esclade recently with what must have been 22" spindly-looking alloy wheels and about 40 or 45 series tires. You won't off road anywhere with that. You wouldn't dare or you'd get a blowout or puncture. It was actually quite a laughable look. And I know they paid through the nose for it because those rims are stupendous in cost and the tires too.
Now, I don't mind comfortable seats in a truck, nor a good climate system, nor second row of seats or cargo storage space behind the first. But a truck is to contain cargo and move it. The fancier you get, the sillier it looks.
I do find truck shopping hilarious (helped dad buy a new 2010 F150). You can spend $25K or $75K on the same truck model. And the $45K+ ones start to get stupid in their inclusions/options.
My little 2010 Escape is an okay little vehicle. Has some crappy parts I'm not fond of, but good on gas, gives me 4 seats, is comfy, I have a nice sun roof (sun is good), and I can carry cargo as needed with just enough AWD to operate in bad Canadian Weather. All in all, a good fit for my lifestyle.
But it's a car-based SUV. If I wanted a real AWD, I'd have gotten a Subaru or for real 4WD, a Jeep Liberty. If I wanted real cargo hauling, I'd have gotten an F-150. If I wanted real family moving, I'd have got a minivan. I got a car-based SUV which is kind of an intersection of the above sets but it does just enough of everything to make me happy so far.
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